We’ve all been in a situation where we can feel nerves beginning to bubble inside. These can then grow with unprecedented speed, taking over our body and mind with what seems like no end in sight. This is completely normal and natural and can be a sign that you care deeply about the task or situation at hand. However, it can also result in poor performance or response and can stand in your way of success. So, today we want to share some advice about how you can tame these nerves before they take over, especially for those who are preparing to take the 11+ exam this September. We are aware that for most children, the 11+ exam is the first formal exam setting that they will encounter and can become quite an overwhelming experience. Tuition and mock exam experiences can help them manage this. As they give them the tools to approach the test papers calmly. But there is always more we can do to support them with calming 11+ nerves that may be brewing.
What are some easy things that can be done at home prior to the exam?
Breathing Exercises
Box breathing, also known as square breathing, is a simple but powerful breathing technique that can help return your breathing pattern to a more relaxed rhythm. It can also help clear and calm your mind as well as improving your focus. This is a great technique to work on with your child prior to the exam, as well as something that they can draw from during the exam itself.
- Breathe in through your nose, counting to 4 slowly.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds, trying to avoid inhaling or exhaling for this time.
- Slowly exhale through your mouth, counting to 4 slowly.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds, again trying to avoid inhaling or exhaling.
- Repeat Steps 1-4 around 5 times, or until you feel much calmer.
You may already know some other breathing techniques that you can share with your child, if you think mindful breathing will be a beneficial tool for them to know.
Self-Care
There is nothing better than a bit of self-care. Think about what your child prefers to do. Why not run them a bath after a long revision session? Or make time for a movie night to help them relax in between their days of preparation work? This is also key for the night before the exam. As this will help them avoid any cramming and to focus on helping them rest as much as possible so they can be their best selves on the big day.
Confidence Boosting and Motivation
Some people respond best to focusing on their goal and believing they can achieve it. Becoming more intentional with their focus and working time can calm your child’s nerves by helping them feel more prepared. At Smart 11+ Tuition, we are big believers in confidence being part of the recipe to success. Positively reinforcing your child’s achievements in their preparation work, no matter how small, will naturally contribute to their confidence and their ability to envisage their end goal. It’s certainly a balancing act between managing their expectations whilst encouraging them to believe they can do it. However, their confidence should always be at the forefront.
As a parent, how can I best manage their worries about the exam day in the months leading up?
Mock Exams
We strongly recommend doing at least one mock exam prior to the 11+ to help your child understand what the entire experience will be like. This will better their understanding of what will happen when they reach their test centre. It will also help them to know what is expected of them under exam conditions. There’s a long set of instructions that are read out at the beginning of the 11+ exam. So mock exams are a brilliant opportunity for your child to start understanding the rules they must follow whilst working through the test paper. It is also the best scenario for them to make any mistakes. It’s also useful for you as a parent/guardian to see how they cope with that stress and to consider how to best support them ahead of the real thing.
Mini Tests and Games
Between their tuition sessions, homework and mock exam practise, there are other short, fun ways of practicing their skills! Consider which skills your child would benefit most from recapping frequently and focus on finding games that match that. This could be anything from times table questions when travelling to a destination or challenging them to find synonyms or antonyms of a chosen word whilst you’re waiting in a queue. These mini games can improve their mental working speed and their stamina when it comes to dealing with a variety of topics in a short period of time, as they will have to do in the 11+.
Setting a Routine – Some people, children and adults alike, respond best to having a firm routine to help them navigate their day. With the exam taking place shortly after the start of the new academic year, your child may feel disorientated by the lack or change of routine. If your child already attends tuition on a Saturday, you may have already set a routine for working on a Saturday. This could benefit their calm approach on their exam day in September. Consider what your child responds best to and what would contribute to a calm atmosphere on their exam day to inform the most appropriate routine.
What can I do to support my child on the night before and the day of the 11+ exam?
Getting everything ready
To help make the morning as smooth as possible, why not make some decisions the day before?
- What would they like to wear?
- Is their bag ready with their exam-suitable stationery?
- Do you know how to get to your test centre and what time you need to leave?
For some children, organising this in the days leading up to the exam will certainly help them feel more in control. The prospect of the 11+ exam can overtake every other decision from the moment they wake up. So, it’s important to understand what will help your child move through the day calmly.
Prepare a treat or fun activity for after the exam
The best part of working hard towards a specific task or goal can be the treat you get afterwards! Positive incentives are a brilliant way to support your child to maintain their focus for a prolonged period! These can be built in throughout their work as well as at the end. So, on the afternoon, evening or day after their exam, prioritise spending time doing something fun with your child to celebrate their hard work and the completion of the exam. We’d suggest letting your child choose what they do. So that they can truly make the most of this celebration of their perseverance through what is, for all, a challenging endeavour.
Is there anything I can do to support my child in the weeks following the exam?
As we have said, your child’s hard work and perseverance towards this goal is certainly something to be celebrated. Going for a treat after the exam, and verbally communicating these achievements to them following the completion of this day will help them understand that this exam is so much more about the result. It’s all about the challenges they’ve had to overcome to get there in the first place. Not forgetting the incredible skills they’ve learnt along the way that will undoubtedly be useful in years to come.
Be prepared for the results – We understand that as parents, you will be considering your preferred options for secondary schools for your child prior to receiving their 11+ exam results. This can include going to Open Days and going through admissions policies to best understand where you are in terms of priority for these schools. If you haven’t already, download our FREE What Happens Next? guide from our website to support your understanding in anticipation of receiving your child’s results in October.
Whatever happens, your child will always be a success. It is a testament of their hard work and time invested that shows how amazing they are. The 11+ exam is by no means the only way that their brilliance is measured. Celebrate them and their hard work, and how as a family unit, you have achieved this together.
